What is Parenting?
Parenting is the psychological process that allows adults who become parents to meet the different needs of their children: physical, emotional, psychological, and social life.
These needs change as the child grows. The tremendous development of the small child aims to build them as individualized persons, that is to say, having a border, not only a bodily boundary, which seems more obvious but above all having a psychological interiority consisting of their own ideas and emotions.
This work of separation-individuation is essential not only during childhood, but throughout life, with more acute negotiations in adolescence, or during the life of the couple.
This parent-child relationship, like any meaningful human relationship, is marked by conflicting feelings. Ambivalence is the possibility of oscillating between positive and negative feelings towards the same person, without excessive idealization or complete destruction of relativity.
Most parents are not fully prepared to feel such contrasting movements towards their children, as a result of the social obliteration of the negative aspect generated by this relationship. In fact, the problem is not in the feeling, but rather in the management of these emotions: that is to say, in the ability to manage, to contain this negative. Perhaps the adjustment of parents’ dreams to the reality of their children and the relationship with them, marks a continual work of integration where the worst and the best sometimes rub shoulders.
What are the key ingredients for a healthy upbringing?
To develop well, a toddler needs parents above all who would provide three key ingredients for healthy upbringings:
- Warmth: When you act with warmth and kindness with your little one, they feel loved and accepted.
- Framing: When you set clear rules it reassures your child and helps them feel safe.
- Empathy: When you respect your child’s ideas, feelings, and initiatives, it helps them make choices and set goals. This is called self-devotee support.
What is your Parenting Style? How is it affecting your Children’s behaviours?
- The “authoritative” style: these are parents who offer both a high level of warmth and affection to their child, as well as a clear, constant, and coherent framework. These parents are looking for a balance between these two factors. Children with “authoritative” parents grow up to be emotionally healthy and balanced, tend to be resourceful and socially-adept.
- The “authoritarian” style: these are the parents who offer a lot of supervision and who demand a lot from their child, but who forget to also offer them warmth and affection. Children with “authoritarian” parents, have the tendency to be aggressive, to have defiant behaviour, to develop poor self-esteem, depression, and anxiety disorders.
- The “permissive” style: these are the parents who offer a lot of warmth and affection to their child, but who do not dare to supervise them and set limits. Children with “permissive” parents achieve less in school, they are less likely to experience behaviour problems and have fewer emotional problems.
- The “uninvolved” style: these are parents who offer neither warmth nor affection to their child. Research have shown that most juvenile offenders have uninvolved parents.
The impact of Parenting Styles on Children’s lives
These different parenting styles usually impact children’s lives on different levels, which might include their academics, their mental health, their self-esteem, their social relationships as well as their adult relationships. Consequently, it is quintessential to identify which type of parenting styles you are adapting with your children but also remember that it is possible to change your approach with your toddler, if found inconvenient and impacting your offspring negatively, and acclimatize a more authoritative style of parenting for the purpose of promoting their well-being. Here are some tips to take into consideration for a healthier upbringing:
- Give positive attention to your child through highlighting their good behaviours and efforts, listening to them talk about their day when they return from day-care or schools, as well as involving them in the preparation of the daily tasks that are age appropriate.
- Dedicate time to play with them every day. This will contribute to solidifying the bond and creating a positive relationship. Your child will feel that they matter to you.
- Take the time to explain rules and boundaries. Your toddler will be more cooperative when they are aware of the reasons behind an instruction. Providing an explanation to your child helps them agree with your request.
- Recognize their feelings and point of view. Even if the child understands the importance of a rule, this does not exclude the fact that they will not necessarily like it. It’s important to listen to your child’s emotions, even when they are hard to hear.
- Apply rules with consistency. your child will then know what to expect. It is also very important to avoid undoing your partner’s intervention, as this will bring confusion to your child’s understanding of the required task.
- Give them some power. Your child needs to have control over their actions and make small decisions on their own. Providing choices is also a good strategy for getting your child to cooperate. For instance, you can propose the following: “Do you want to put your toys away before or after bathing?”.
- Have expectations adapted to your child’s age and abilities. If your child feels pressured, they may become discouraged, anxious and believe they are inadequate. Realistic expectations will allow them to experience success and increase their self-confidence.
Remember, it is never too late to change your parenting style and contribute to your child’s healthy upbringing.
Our comprehensive approach to wellness, at American Wellness Center, extends to supporting families in mastering the art of parenting. Located in Dubai Healthcare City, we provide a wide array of medical and mental health services tailored to meet the unique needs of each family member. Our team of experienced psychiatrists, psychologists, and medical professionals is dedicated to assisting parents in understanding and navigating the psychological processes involved in parenting. We offer guidance and support in addressing the physical, emotional, psychological, and social needs of children at various stages of development, ensuring a healthy and nurturing environment for the entire family.
